The Hell, Man

Sometimes in life, there are moments. Moments in which the only thing that you can possibly think of to say is "Umm, what the fuck?"

But don't be fooled by the angry appearance of that last word. These can often be good moments. So, to disguise the fact the fuck looks angry and makes people think that I am yelling in frustration rather than joy, we will simplify.

Here are some wtf? moments from the last couple days:

wtf? Moment 1.

I had a girl yesterday tell me I give the best advice ever. Her conundrum? She hooked up with her best friend one too many times, and now they were on the verge of not being friends. Which she just couldn't bear.

My solution?

Stop screwing your friends.

She thanked me profusely. Umm, the hell?


wtf? Moment 2.

I was legitimately wondering what good karma I possibly could have earned yesterday. Within the time span of an hour, I got a job,

YAY!

AND I got tickets to go see Rise Against / Bad Religion at the Fillmore.

Which is so freaking sick.

SO. SICK.

I must have done something really nice to deserve that. And I don't do nice things. I don't understand.

wtf? Moment 3.

At about ten o' clock, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend. It said, and I quote:

"Happy break up anniversery. :) hope your doing well Emma, and i hope the play went well!"

Nice grammar, douche.

Need I say why the only thing that I could think of to say for about an hour after I got it was dude, what the fuck?

I mean, come on. Who says shit like that? Come on, man. Come on.

Final moment came this morning. Surprisingly, from the same source which the first one came from. Golly, she sure is a bundle of accidental entertainment these days.    

One question I never thought I would hear while sitting in the hallway talking to my friends is "Hey Emma, do you have a gameboy charger?"

....the fuck?

No, I don't have a gameboy charger. Maybe because I'm a big kid now, and I don't play Zelda in the hallway during passing periods. Or maybe it's because I just forgot to bring my charger with me to school today.

Or hey, maybe it's because they went out of style FIVE YEARS AGO.

Which I informed her of. Politely, of course.

I'm always polite.

After I finish laughing.