I Understand That Was Awesome

But please stop clapping in the middle of the scene.

I hate you all.

Stop Clapping. Seriously.

I was watching some stand-up on Comedy Central tonight. Mike Birbiglia. He had that wit where he would tell his jokes as if he was just saying them because they were funny in his head, but he didn't really expect for people to laugh at them.

Unfortunately, the poor man couldn't even get a whole joke out before he was completely drowned out by the noise of the seals in the audience flopping their little hands together in some sort of deranged appreciation for the jokes that they couldn't hear.

Like, seriously, is that the way that you show your appreciation for somebody?

"Oh my god, he's soooo funny, I'm going to laugh at the first couple words of any joke that he starts, and even though he hasn't actually gotten to the part that is going to make it funny, I know it will be eventually, so I'm going to prematurely congratulate him by applauding over the rest of his words so that he is forced to take unnaturally long breaths in order for my applause to die down enough that everybody else in the audience can hear him."

Honestly. Is that their strategy?

Just stop clapping.