Congratulations, You're a Jackass

Sometimes, I tell a complaint in the form of a story.

Like this.

There is nothing worse than getting to about 8 o'clock and having your phone on 7% battery.

Like, I'm just chillin' in my basement watching a movie or engaging in some equally important and integral to society-type activity, and my phone's all like boo-de-lee-boo you need to charge me now.


What the hell am I supposed to do then?

My phone charger is all the way in my bedroom. I can't watch How I Met Your Mother until my eyeballs start to bleed if I have to go sit in my room for my phone to charge.

And what if someone sends me a really important text?! I have to charge my phone for at least thirty minutes if I want it to last the rest of the night, I could miss something!

And what if that person does text me, and it is important, and I don't respond?? The results could be DETRIMENTAL.

Okay, maybe not detrimental.

But it still sucks.

So I'm forced to find a new activity, such as reading (in my room) or playing guitar (in my room) or pointlessly searching tumblr (also in my room) just so that my dumb phone has time to charge so that I can keep talking to my friends all night.

And it's at that point in the story that I'm like, dude... you're a jackass. First world problem.

While I have to charge my phone, and it's such an inconvenience and stuff, there are people, like, dying and stuff.

While my woes are about whether or not anybody important may talk to me in the half an hour it takes to charge the battery on my smartphone to a reasonable level, some people are worried about things that actually matter. Like, where they're gonna sleep or something.

Only in first world countries, man. Only in first world counties.

Your phone won't charge? Congratulations you first world snob, you're a jackass.