I Should Be a Doctor

I will practice in psychological illnesses.

All of my prescriptions will involve some form of entertainment.

Because I decided tonight that there is no manner of foul mood that can not be cured by my Xbox or television.

And, due to my recent fondness for lists, I will now compose a list of my self-prescribed treatments so that when I really need one and can't remember for the life of me what it is, I will ingeniously have carved it forever into cyberspace.

Really sick of dealing with people and just want to kill shit: Assassin's Creed. Hidden blade assassination = YES.

Slightly upset with my lack of importance in the grand scheme of things: Halo. Because nobody can feel insignificant when they're single-handedly destroying an entire Covenant fleet. Especially when they're a Spartan.

Depressed at the state of the world: Fable. Because in that world, you really can fix any problem with money. Money, and maybe a diet of fewer mince-meat pies.

Needing reinforcement at how well I would do in a zombie apocalypse that may or may not be occurring in 2012 (leaning toward the latter): Left 4 Dead. Shotgun, bitch.

Distressing at the fact that I have not a clue where my life will be in twenty or thirty years: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Nothing else can better teach you how free people's lives really are, and how you can do whatever feels right and you will be fine as long as you are willing to just embrace life as it is.

In need of some stretching logic before my brain atrophies into nothing but textbook regurgitation: Sherlock Holmes. And you shouldn't have to ask why. Elementary, dear Watson.

And of course, the all-encompassing feel-good for whenever I am just generally down: What Happens in Vegas. Yes, you go right ahead and judge me, but I love that movie. And it makes me happy. So there.

This all being said, I choose... the first remedy.

I had to refrain from beating up children today. Because I have been told that no matter how annoying they are, it is still not socially acceptable to hit an eleven year old.

Yeah... Killing shit sounds nice.